Feeling guilty and ashamed ...

I've the opportunities to work with some under-privileged folks such as orphans, old folks and special kids. Take the example of ‘Perkop’, those mentally retarded kids who are smarter, having higher IQ, are enrolled into ‘Perkop’, to learn some simple living skills, also to earn some pocket money. For this center, one of the biggest customer is KFC, the kids will insert the plastic spoon, fork and paper tissue into a plastic bag and seal it….simple and easy for the kids to perform. The challenge they face today, is not enough work orders…..aiiii

So, here I am, wanting to order make a walk in wardrobe and kitchen cabinets...I know there is this center called Montfort Boy’s Town. The under-privileged boys are trained to do carpentry and many other useful skills. All I need to do is to call the center, an experience senior designer will come to my house, discuss, gather my requirement and take the measurements …then the boys will build as per the orders and specifications.

I’m proud of Janice, she made an effort to engage Montfort for her bedroom cupboard…I went to her house to view the cupboard, and realized the workmanship is not as smooth as I would expect for the price she paid….I asked Janice why would she do that, she replied she wanted to help the boys – well done !

And here I am, I’m feeling ashamed of myself , I’m involved in the volunteer works, and I know perfectly how difficult it is to receive work orders, to keep the kids motivated, to make them feel useful, to help them earn a simple living …..yet, I’m being so selfish here, not doing my part, not role-modeling, reluctant to engage them …..why why why ? In order words, I rather spend money, walk into those fancy air-conditioned kitchen specialty stores, than spending my money helping the needed society….The question I post to myself now is – shouldn’t I feel happier and proud of myself if I could careless about the quality and workmanship …and in return, the sense of ‘contributing to society’ should supersede the rest, right ? If everyone out there have the same mentality as I am, geee, then where is the caring society to assist the boys ?? I’m thinking hard, fighting my internal battle on this …..