Thursday, January 27, 2005

my choice

I met my University’s lecturer, he’s the Vice President of a reputable bank, very high profile, a smart guy. We talked about life, what’s happening around, then eventually the topic on what am I doing now ? why left the previous company etc … He commented that I should hop from one job to another, get the contacts, and the glory title, get the higher position, from manager to senior manager etc, don’t waste time, from there onwards, he bla bla bla bla ……

Then, another event a friend of mine also said that being single, I should climb corporate ladder, utilize my time focus on career. Again, to me, another bla bla bla bla …..

I used to be sensitive with this kind of comment, and got into mini depression… yeah , bodoh kan ! Heck, this makes no difference to me now ….want to know why , read my previous blog.

What I want to say here is , it is all about CHOICE and PRIORITY. Some people enjoys being in control, the challenges of climbing corporate ladder – which is perfectly fine, a very good vision, and I’m happy if my friends choose to do so, I support him/her. Likewise, there are people who is family oriented or spiritually oriented etc, and there is also people like me, who, at this moment, just lazy to care much on career. I prefer peace of mind, get my work done, enjoy getting off from work early, go home, go for drinks, watch TV, watch movies, lepak with friends or sisters, spending time with mum or simply just lay back do nothing dreaming …. Does this mean that I’m useless or less ambitious ? NO. I just have my own way of living my life, making myself happy and no regret about it ….My friends who think otherwise, I just think you need to respect my choice ! :)

3 Gentlemen

last week, i talked about 3 Haji. Today, it's 3 Gentlemen - they made my day :)

a) Secret Agent :- the first person I pursuaded to blog. He started his first blog back in December. But he has too many 'ways' and 'showman' , that I kept the wrong link. So all this while, I was a little bit dissappointed thinking that Secret Agent is idle, not an active blogger. Today, the cloud is cleared, sunshine is out .....rupa-rupanya Secret Agent has been actively blogging ....BRAVO - tonight I will burn midnight oil to catch up ! Great Job, keep it up .....

b) Anti-Ringgit :- I was so thrilled to receive FIRST comment from Anti-Ringgit. Gee, like kena lottery. Then realized all this while, he has never read my blog, sebab he tak tahu my link. ai see men ......macam me blur blur with Secret Agent's link la......Never Mind, though it is obvious Anti-Ringgit visited my blog because of 'someone' else ....still I'm HAPPY !

c) Ringgit :- Ringgit passed the word around to Anti-Ringgit, chased away the dark cloud for me. Plus, Ringgit sent me very very nice nice songs ....Thanks !

Boy, 3 gentlemen ....3 good friends .... great day - life is sweet now :)

A tool to view unread blogs !

For my readers, this is a cool tool to try (courtesy of Ringgit, Ringgit is my walking Technical Consultant).

This standalone program, called NewsGator, offers an online version. It is free! Just sign up for a free account and add your favourite blogs as a feed , it is Explorer like navigator on the left, showing in brackets, how many unread posts. At a glance you can see whose blog has new updates! The URL for my blog (as a feed) is to add /atom.xml to my blog URL for example:

One of my dream

I blamed this on TAR, for the past 2 thursday, after TAR ..I no mood to work, cannot focus ..... ai, i think it is because I slept too late, opsss.
Anyway, chatting with Secret Agent about my dream. I've got many dreams listed in my blogs lately hor ? haha

There is this dream of being able to let go everything I have, pack and travel around the world freely, or just Europe itself will do as well. I would have to work as waitress or some mini minor care-leh-fer jobs to earn some pocket money for my journey. To travel alone in Europe is do-able, and quite safe. After all, with my 'talkative' skill ( as pointed out by Ringgit ), I know I have no problem meeting people, getting acquaintance along the way. That would be an eye-opening, adventurous, significant trips !! Now, if this is the case, then the more I shouldn't think of upgrading car, becasue that is burden on me. I should move forward with debt-free planning, and transform all my current liabilities into assets, self generating income ! --this is do-able as well. The only thing I don't have is a strong skill that make me marketable, such as a skill that very few people posses, and I could have the advantage of it .... aiiii ( wish I learnt this earlier ), hmmm, should I still 'mati-mati' stick with my humble mainframe skills ??

Toyota Altis 1.96% interest - so so so tempting ...... but but but .....

May the good force be with him !

A friend of mine promoted to manager, so we went makan celebrated his promotion. During the dinner, he shared with me some of the new things or rather eye-opening things he is going thru now. Besides the additional workload being a manager, managing his staffs, managing the businesses, customers etc etc, he also need to entertain those VIPs within his organization. They have this role called ‘entertainment manager’, and this role by default goes to the new ciku ( new manager ) of course. When special guests such as VP, senior managers visiting them, he’ll need to plan the entertainment and fun programs.

He told me he’s so new in this area, so far he’s been to various night entertainment centers in KL, spa, karaoke, massage centers. Massage centers are the one which caught my attention. I know the people he works with. I’ve good impression of them, until now, when my friend told me those ‘extra activities’ they do after work ( massage center have 2 floor, second floor for ‘special services’), oh boy …what a shock for me ! Next time, when I meet them, my mind sure project an animal face instead of their faces, man man man, why are most men so gatal ?

That night, my mind flashed back to years ago, I met this guy. He worked as a bank loan officer. My first impression on him was good, thought he was a good guy. Then later found out he earned a lot of money within short period of time, he got to upgrade his car easily to luxury car, bought properties, spent lavishly …..very suspicious, hey, as a bank officer, and quite junior – cannot be earning big bucks lah ….common sense. Later found out he actually took bribe, did the under table thingy on the loans. He switched job easily hopped from one bank to another banks. Back then, I questioned myself, would I be comfortable going out with him? Could I accept what he did? The answer was so straight forward, he’s not my cup of tea, I cannot live with someone who is not ethical, without the strong good principles and values.

For my friend who is going through this test, a great fan of star wars, may the force be with him, that he stays away from the dark force, hope he doesn’t get trapped in those unhealthy, unfaithful activities, IMO - which would eventually destroy him (stay away from Satan) . May he be strong holding on to his principles !

a note to my telephone

Aiiiii , I heard a lot of people complained and frustrated about their broadband Streamyx problems. My case pula, I'm very happy with my Streamyx, zero fuss in getting it running. BUT BUT BUT , my home telephone line pula merajuk on me. Everytime I report, it can only be fixed on Saturday when I'm at home, ai .... how productive , ended up - i still don't work from home as often as I wish to .....

Phone line, u 'kuay kuay' lah ... please !

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Dream to be like Miss Artificial

Lately, when friends called me, they were not giving me red bombs ( wedding invitation ), instead they asked if I want to join them for trips …. The wave changed from wedding dinners to tours now, which I kinda enjoy. I think this is the Bonus time. People receives extra money, so start thinking of where to go....Now, I pening kepala, have too many choices ....

This 2 days, amazingly, the list built up. This is where I wish to dream, having a life like Miss Artificial, no need to work, have money to travel :)…let me dream now…..thinking of it also shock lah though it is an empty dream. Hey, my upcoming Bali trip is confirmed, traveling with mummy and Lalalililatappong. hehehe.

Feb (end) - Tioman diving trip ( Vienna friends )

March – China Xian, Macau and Hong Kong ( Secret Agent )

April – Nepal hiking trip ( HLB kakis )

April – Taiwan (Taipoh and Hakka Mui )

May - UK – to watch Star Wars ( Anti-Ringgit and Ringgit )

August – Family Big Big Surprise party for mummy – a retreat to nowhere !

See, wouldn't it FUN if I could say YES to all ? aiiiiiii

Speaking of red bomb, Ringgit smsed me that I’ve got one (fresh) - the host doesn’t even bother to give me a personal call, may be I’m lacking ‘yan yuan’ 人缘 ( don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for my friend’s wedding, it is good news to share ). Anyway….this is only the 25th day of the year, I’ve already attended 2 wedding dinners…..this is just to ‘san’ , just a crazy thought – if I skipped all the dinners, I would have saved at least RM 2000…..that would be my pocket money for Nepal trip !

Sunday, January 23, 2005

Fruit of the Spirit - Love

Galatians 5:22-23, talked about Fruit of Spirit. They are 9 of them - Love, Joy, Peace, Longsuffering, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self-Control. Today service started with 'Love'. Love is not what we can get out of others, love is 'action', not 'feeling'. We need to bear fruit, put in effort for love.

The Primacy of Love
Love must be first and foremost
Love God, Love Yourself, Love your neighbour
Love (First) must be regained
Love must be balanced by justice, opposed to the world

Biblical definition of LOVE ( in greek words)
Ero - the world focus on this kind of love ( selfish love, turn inward, negativity )
Phileo - the church focus on this kind of love ( mutual affection/attraction, share same faith, cultivate brotherly love )
Agape - the kind of love that God wants us to focus on

The Profile of Love
1. Love is Positive
2. Love is Others-centered
3. Love is Unconditional
4. Love is Selfless ( practical and not with sweet promises )
5. Love is Profoundly simple
6. Love is Being vulnerable

The Permanence of Love
a. Love never gives up
b. Love is loyal
c. Learn to treasure LOVE

"To love is to take risks, to expose our hearts. Sometimes it hurts, it hurt Christ, but he kept on loving even though it cost him his life"

Love - it takes time to bear fruit, it is meant to be enjoyed, not just looked at, it is god-kind of love that we are to bear !

'The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost' by G.K.Chesterton

Remembrance of Egypt

Egypt again ....hahaha. Miloflamingo words "I've never met anyone whose life was unchanged by Egypt, for better or worse".... This is really true for a few of us who have visited Egypt. Sound silly, but TRUE. My own experience, I'll blog it later.

Tonight, I brought friends to Miss Artificial's restaurant. There's this special connection with her, the more I talked to her, the more I like her. Her dressing is like an Egyptian arabic style...I made a joke on her, and she said this "Since I got back from Egypt, I think of it often, and naturally, I also dress arabic like" ( then she laughed ). See her changes ! We brought the fun stories to the table, shared with my friends - the topic about ham sak egyptians, rich ancient cultures and believes, mosque, muslim woman and cover up, power of pyramids etc etc etc ... Miss Artificial and myself kept laughing! She ended the conversation that ' EGYPT is AMAZING' .... I hope my friends will one day choose to visit this country, coz I already hardsell to them 'ur life will change' in some way !

This Miss Artificial has been to many places, she spends a lot of her time watching Discovery Travel channel. Test her on the wonders of the world, the famous places, I bet she has the answers. In my eyes, she is a hang fuk happy woman, get to explore the world. Her next destination is Cambodia Angkor Wat on Jan 26. She's nervous to go there free and easy alone. Yet she has the courage to go, she said she needs to complete her plan this year. I'll see her probably next month - for her updates on Angkor Wat, and to see my Egypt group photo.

Saturday, January 22, 2005

Handshake Dilemma

Last Wednesday radio FM 94.5, the DJ Richard talked about his handshake dilemma. He doesn’t like limp handshake, or finger-shake…..I thought of my own dilemma years ago. I was at customer site, meeting a group of senior executives, when the senior manager (a muslim guy ) came to join the group, I politely introduced myself, and extended my hand straight to him. For long time no response, everyone was quiet and starring at me, that moment, I just want to dig a hole and sorrow my kepala inside the hole. So embarrassed, felt humiliated! Two things in my mind – 1, what’s wrong with this man ? for goodness, shake my hand lah. 2, geram with him though still had to ‘kek kek’ smile with him.

Left with no choice, I quietly tarik balik my hand, and pretended nothing happened. Later of the day, I met with my muslim colleagues, wanted to know why why why ???

My colleagues asked me not to handshake with muslim men or women, let them initiate the handshake ( if they want to ). Due to religion, some of them may be restricted from physical contact with opposite sex….. oh well, I learnt the hard way, some basic etiquette. Personally, I enjoy firm strong handshake, more sincere, but make sure the hands are clean yeah ! I’m prepared with an excuse if I don’t feel like shaking someone’s hand, just say ‘my hands are dirty’ or ‘I’ve got skin disease and don’t want to pass to you’ ….bravo

New comment – I was discussing this topic with my boss yesterday. He agreed and also won’t extend his hand, he would let the other party initiate the handshake , smart ! Well, u see, my company is globalized. All of us need to attend the various trainings eg working with Malaysian 101, working with American 101, working with Indian 101 etc... He learnt how to deal with the Malaysians …

p/s : I'm glad Habibi is not like this, he hugged us - cool !

Fruitful time with my boss !!

Wow ! I spent total of 26 hours 1:1 with my US boss within 2 days. That was awesome. I prayed to god to make this 2 days a memorable one for both of us, and wish that I could make his trip enjoyable. Indeed, it was a great success. Both of us enjoyed the company :)

We tried a few nice yummy food in town. Thursday night, boss told me his limit is 6 glasses of beers ( in US) , but the Tiger beer that he drank in Malaysia, 3 bottles reached his limit. Boy, Thursday night, when he finished his third glass, I quickly asked for bill and sent him back to hotel .... hahaha, I was scared to handle a drunk American man !!!

Friday, we took our own sweet time, slowly sight seeings. I’ve came to know him better, we talked about many things, from work, to family, to hobbies, to countries, dreams etc etc …It’s so cool ! I’m so happy …. Hahaha. Brought him to Palace, Goddess of Haven (Ting Hou Temple), National Mosque, Old railway station, Bangunan Abdul Samad, Merdeka Square, KL Tower, Chinatown, Central Market, Selangor Pewter tour, KLCC twin towers, Batu Caves, a ride on KL Monorail and end the night at Beach Club.

This was the first time my boss did so much shopping. He was amazed with all the shopping he did. In fact, he felt embarrassed, he made me carried a few bags ( to show others those were my shopping, and not his – so mean !!! ). In total, I think he spent RM 2000 on his shopping …so cheap for him using USD. Did I kutuk my country ? Haha, I didn’t … my mindset was tuned upfront to be positive, to be proud of my country and nation…. I gave constructive comment, not the old ‘kutuk’ I used to do …. all turned out perfectly ! U see, Habibi also extended his help. Boss brought up the topic of muslim women covered their whole body till tinggal eyes only. He thinks that’s stupid. So there I was, remembered Habibi, so I explained the Muslim beliefs, their pillars etc , mosque praying, and eventually talked about woman’s sexy hair – why tudung etc , wow ! ( another topic to blog about changes on my side on their religion after my Egypt trip)

Back to my tour guiding, I learnt a few new things today, first, there is this Malaysian craft called TenMoKu Pottery, the clay potteries are very unique, reasonably priced, and cute. Mat Salleh loves them, including me …. They have factory tour at Batu Caves, so next time, I’ll bring my visitors for that tour. My boss enjoyed the potteries so much, he bought 10 of them, walked out the store with BIG SMILEY face. Oh, the store assistant was so polite, friendly and knowledgeable. She helped to make a good impression on Malaysian, yey !!!

Then, we spent time in Selangor Pewter factory in Setapak. Geeee, I’ m impressed with the facility and the tour management. It was such a good tour, we had a tour guide explaining the whole processes, very informative, visitors are well taken care of, bravo – Selangor Pewter ….U made us Proud ! Now, I know that all the Selangor Pewters are hand made. Machines are used to sharpen or smoothen the end products, but the whole production line is manually handled. After the tour, we concluded that the price of the pewter is not expensive anymore, since they are hand made, we learn to appreciate the products more … and of course, my boss burned his pocket at the showroom.

Next Tuesday is Thaipusam – the Indian festival. So, this is the perfect timing to bring my visitor to Batu Caves. Yuh, it was such a HOT day. We walked up the 272 stairs. My boss liked the structure of the caves. We also managed to witness the blessing ceremony and a kavadi. He was so thrilled to see things that he cannot find in US. There I was, I used to ‘kutuk’ Batu Caves to my other visitors, I told them there is nothing fancy about it ..just a caves. Today, my boss gave me a different perspective, the way he appreciates nature …. He was the one commented on Batu Caves, he said it’s ashamed that Batu Caves is the holy place for the Hindus, yet this holy place is full of litter. He said all it takes is just 1/2 day of effort, to have each devotee pick up 1 litter, that will transform the whole place into a clean holy place. ( I totally agree ! )

Next, Chinatown. U know the Popular bookstore street which is full of the ‘bak kuah’ (dried meat) stores. At night, the street is turn into sidewalk café , tables on the street for the Mat Salleh. Well, tonight, I got to experience how was it like to sit down, laid back, drunk some beer and observed people walking past the busy street. All the tables were seated with foreigners with beers……It was kinda cool though, just lepak and checked out people. ( this is something I don’t do normally ). I felt uncomfortable when the locals passing by and kept looking at me, I wonder why ? I cannot sit and lepak meh ?

We had dinner in KLCC, walked around my favourite place, I’m proud of this baby – the sparkling jagung (corn)….I’m glad the night was clear, helped to bring out the best of the twin towers, boss called it the star wars building. (apparently, he is a kampong boy ….. not used to huge tall rise building ).

Then, we hang out at the Beach Club. Now, here, I kiasi lioa, why ? He already had 5 bottles of beers before Beach Club, I takut he get drunk. Luckily the Carls’ that we had at Beach Club was lousy, too diluted, else susah…. Anyway, it was kinda weird for me to go clubbing with my manager, (without me, he may have some ‘luck’). I felt under-dressed as well, went with t-shirt, jeans skirt and SLIPPER. Whereas the ladies dressed up nicely, spaghetti strap with high heels..I looked like china ah sow :(. While boss eyeing on girls, I of course turned my eyes to other direction and tried to do something lah, so I observed other people. There were many sexily dressed philippino ladies, it seemed so easy for them to pick up mat sallehs. Fun observing them.

I praised lord for giving me the strength to stay positive, with the right mindset, and achieved my intention of ‘connecting with him’, for both of us to know each other more. I know Darrell enjoyed his trip thru his sincere appreciation. Our time was well spent, not hectic, very easy going that he had the peace mind to break his shopping record ! We’ve talked about many ‘dreams’, ending this, I wish those dreams turn into reality….. fruitful days with Darrell , proud of my contribution as a tour guide.

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

3 Haji

Ai, I'm dissappointed with myself. I worked with this 3 ex-muslim colleagues. They treated me so well, gave me many helping hands, walked with me, pulled me thru many difficult times, and NOW, I missed the boat to say 'farewell' to them, before they departed for their hajj (pilgrimage). For muslim, hajj is an important event in their lifetime , it is one of the 'Five Pillars of Islam'. They told me about their hajj 3 years ago, and they indeed fulfill their wish / promise and on their way to Mecca now .... okie, I shall wait and greet the Haji/s then :)

保养 - take care of ourselves (ladies)

This is a sharing for my female readers. Chee Mui, listen to me .... we need to take care of ourselves. Make sure to take Pak Chan Char 八珍茶 monthly, or if you can find Eu Yan Sang Gold Label Bak Foong pills, take this as often as you can. These are good for us, don't be lazy ! I didn't believe this last time, I seldom care about this pills or any sort of soup which is supposed to make us healthier. Last year, I experienced bad health related to female eg white discharge, short and out of menstruation cycle. I consulted chinese doctor, talked to many colleagues, closed friends and mum (almost make an appointment with gynae), everyone same voice, recommended to take pak chan char, and if can afford, take bak foong pills as well (this is expensive 6 small packs for RM 80). I tried those frequently, now, I can see / feel the difference. It is working ... I also try to avoid too much white vegetable (too 'leong' for us) .... If you are always lack of sleep and live in a stressful lifestyle, the more you should pay attention to your body !!!

Be positive about my country !

My US direct manager is in town, he'll spend time with me this Thursday and Friday. I'm preparing my mind, mentoring Habibi now, trying to be proud of my country ....hahaha. Seriously, I've been an informal KL tour guide for many times, mostly to mat sallehs from USA. Everytime, I would kutuk my own country - corruption, dirtiness, lack of development, world class infrastruture with low class mentality etc etc ... I tend to compare with other developed countries and kutuk my own country on the negative sides. After visited Egypt, I got to know that their corruption is even worst, their poverty level is so high, their air quality is so bad, their money is so old. The tip for me is not to compare, each country has its own problems as well as achievements. From a tourist perspective, I think I should have more 'sense of ownership' and proudly introduce the beauty of my country to them, of course I may add in a little bit of my negative judegement :). So, this time, I hope to value add to my country ....sound so 'wai dai' 伟大 yeah !!

My boss is very keen on the ghost tour , found one operate from KL - Asian Spooks Experience, for USD 44, dinner included, it covers 3 hour tour to various places to experience the ghost spirit.....gosh, initially, I thought I can take up this challenge, the more I think of it, the more I gementar. I had to dissappoint my boss, and chicken out. ( He said he will only go if I go with him ...sorry man, I can't do this ! I don't want to be haunted and trapped in sleepless nights )


Though I studied in US, I had no exposure to musicals (what a waste yeah). Back then, I didn’t know anything about Broadway or West End musicals. Plus I also had no luxury money to spend on entertainment. It was in my ex-company, that I got to meet this bunch of friends, who introduced me to musical. I’ve had a lot of great memories working in my ex-company. For musical, a great thanks to Bootiedelicious, she was the one who brought me to my first musical - Miss Saigon in September 2001, at Kallang Theatre (Singapore). I still remembered I had to work till early morning, then rushed to Singapore with my friends. I was amazed with the stage performance, the live orchestra was so great, the props were so real….excellent performance and value for money. It was then I started to slowly pick up more on musicals. Geee, I’m just thinking, if fate didn’t arrange me to know Bootiedelicious, Anti Ringgit or RInggit, would I know how to enjoy this now ? My other circle of friends, mostly Chinese educated, don’t enjoy musicals ( this is just from my own observation, I’m not saying all Chinese educated folks act the same ).

I went to watch Phantom of the Opera AGAIN, the third time. I myself, am amazed with how much I’ve enjoyed this movie and the songs. I’ve never so gila on a movie until I watched 3 times. Before the movie, I started listened to the songs during office hours ( Canadian cast, Original cast ), while in the car, I listened to the movie version (I prefer Emmy Rossum’s voice than Sarah Brightman’s). After the movie, I felt more excited, I can’t describe the feeling here …. It’s very unique, felt pleased, satisfying every time I watched the movie….. and I blasted the songs on my way home …. I guess this is how it is like, when I truly enjoy it. I’m happy ! If anyone ask me to go for Phantom again, I will still say yes , with condition must go to Mid Valley GSC THX theatre….

I’ve been to a few with TaiPoh in San Francisco, there were a few sweet moments as well, it is nice to have good company, one who also click and enjoy doing the same thing. TaiPoh will be back to Malaysia for good…I’m looking forward meeting her, and we’ll reconnect again exploring more musicals then :) ….thinking of phantom and the songs, make my day !!!

Monday, January 17, 2005

Sweety in ICU

Today, my sweety admitted to ICU. The bill is high :( , may be she upset because I'm thinking of retiring her she show her tantrum. Oh girl, got to pamper her well ...

To cheer me up, tonight must watch phantom Gold Class ( first time leh ) please please let my production changes all go thru OK, smooth smooth, no hiccups, and I get to leave office on the spot !

Friday, January 14, 2005

Wish List

Aii, tonight my mind is haunted with $$$$$ .....

Let me prepare my wish list, and be depress about this , I've got this whole weekend to hibernate ...aiiiii

1) Non proton new car
2) Flat LCD computer monitor
3) Computer speakers
4) Computer table and an ergo comfortable chair
5) Keyboard
6) Walk in wardrobe
7) Kitchen cabinets
8) Washing machine
9) Clothes Dryer
10) US business trip/s

Dare not sum up the total ...depresssing ......actually, this is not my wish list, this is my NEED list lah....aiyuh :(

Circle of Trust

I watched this movies - Meet the Parents (2000) , the sequel is Meet the Fockers (2004). This movies talk about a couple planning to get marry, and both of them spend the weekends with their respective parents ..... it's a comedy.

My taste is that the first one is funnier, more jokes to laugh at. The latter is not as funny as the first one, but it is interesting to watch the Focker's family, starring Barbara Streisand and Dustin Hoffman. I enjoyed the ending, where Jack Byrnes, Bernie and Grey Focker - 3 of them stucked in the jail, debating on 'Circle of Trust' ...... I've always use Circle of Influence, Circle of Concern, now add one more, Circle of Trust....

Do you agree that Trust is important ? in relationship , in friendship, in workplace or within family members ?

友情可贵, 好好珍惜 ( Appreciate Friendship )

Some of my readers miss Chinese words or articles, they have not read Chinese for long time …. I find this meaningful ….share with my sweeties ….







Car Car Car car car car

The first car I drove was a family car. It was a 1.3cc Honda Civic, drove by my elder sisters and passed down to me ….. I started driving when I was 17 years old. The first car belong to me was/is this sweety Proton Wira 1.3 manual, bought in 1996. Back then, I was still studying in USA, and my sister placed 1 year booking for this sweety. I suffered 6 months taking buses to work. Woke up super early, took multiple buses to office or customer sites, reached office with dirty face, then had to leave early to catch the last bus out of customer sites. Reached home very late, TIRED. It was so HORRIBLE without a car. My life would be miserable without a car, as I said before , it is my leg - my independence ! All this while, I’m not crazy or fancy to drive nice or luxury car. I learnt that people scratch my car, there are lots of idiots or inconsiderate folks around town, they could simply open the car door, bang into others, or do lousy parking and bang others ….I’d be very sakit hati driving a nice car and kena scratch. Plus I’m enjoying the freedom of not paying car installments – hey, it’s been 6 years free of car installment ….I’ve got 6 yrs of peace mind on this car thingy ….

CNY is around the corner, car dealers have all sorts of attractive promotions to promote last year’s cars, good trade in. This morning, while driving to work, realized my car is eating up higher maintenance costs, especially the petrol consumption has been increased drastically, aiii

Then lunch, this colleague who seldom join me for lunch, suddenly appeared and offered his service. So he chauffeured us. He just bought a new Honda City … wow ! envy …there goes the lunch topic ..CAR. Gosh, his 1.5 auto City only consume 0.09 cent of petrol per kilometer…another colleague upgraded to Nissan Sentra, his 1.6 auto consume 010 cent/km … when I heard this, my mind thinking hard, my heart pumping hard …… back in 1996 , the measurement I took on my sweety was 0.10 / km ….now in 2005, my car consumption definitely higher ( btw, I cannot measure, as the meters are out , not functioning ) – costly to change the whole dashboard ……I surfed car dealer sites now …

Here are the estimate for 5 % interest rate for 5 years trade in my sweety :-
Camry 2.0 - RM 150 K, mthly installment $2400
Altis 1.6 - RM 107 K, mthly $1700
Vios 1.5 - RM 77 K , mthly $1200

Is it time to retire my sweety ? I promised myself that my next car must be non-proton, otherwise, status quo. I prefer Toyota car, but but but , you know what , I cannot afford ( not even my dream car yet )…..gosh, this is so sad :( . I was indeed lucky to drive Camry, Nissan Ultima in California during my business trips…that’s where I actually felt the huge difference of driving low end car vs higher end ….Quality vs Price --> comfort and safety. Camry in US costs USD23k, if I were working in US, I definitely can afford a Camry ..... :( , then what is the point of thinking along this way, reality is I'm living in Malaysia, and sucks, car price is super crazy high here ..... accept and work around lah ! Still I feel like nagging sikit here ....If I bought Camry, I'd be driving a house running around the town. Car car car ....this is one item which goes 1 direction - depreciate only....yet to a certain extend, it is an important vehicle or it plays an important role in my life, no doubt, it is just a vehicle to bring me from one point to another point only....but but besides sleeps, office hours, staying home, I do spend a lot of time in 'car' is in this 'car' that I get to connect closer with family, friends or colleagues, listen to songs, also, when I'm really really down, it is this 'car' which accompany me for a ride to nowhere ... so how ???

My feeling now is kinda sad actually, I can’t afford Camry or Altis , to spend $1200 for a small compact Vios – lacking appetite. Oh, another fact ….. part of my dream car is actually embedded here, between the walls and the tiles of my house …….

my 'new car' embedded inside here :(

Aiii, guess I need to ponder on this item ...Jan 14, 2005 - I declare I cannot afford a Toyota car …. going to cave and cry soon…..

Seriously, I think I need to start prepare for car upgrade project.... what are my choices now ?
a) seek permission to work from home more often - save my petrol and toll costs
b) reduce mthly expenses !!! AM I SURE I LIKE THIS ???
c) start more savings, prepare for car downpayment next year
d) DREAM of getting an assignment to US, then can earn USD - solve my $$$ then
e) Hop to another higher pay job - anyone wants to hire me ?
f) Flirt and hook up with a Toyota car salesman / manager / staff ( heard they have attractive employee staff price )
g) Smarter choice - be Toyota employee - let me call Mr. Teluk Intan and connect me to the IT folks

Thursday, January 13, 2005

TNB - work harder , pls !!!!

Yuh, lunch at KFC ... reached my turn to order, the power went off. Softdrinks machine couldn't dispense softdrinks, so got free upgrade to ice lemon tea, luckily I still managed to get the new 'insured' burger. Those customers who walked in later, had to go other places, as no more food to supply ....gee, big damage to businesses....then a lot of phone calls and SMS, apparently, power outages in Klang Valley, Putrajaya, Selangor, Melaka, Johor ... my sisters , mum housing area all affected... yet, this Ringgit told me his area OK. Initial thought - envy. Then, be + , his place is declared as our Disaster Recovery site then...if no power tonight, Mah Lau and myself will camp at his place, watch DVD, broadband, shower etc etc ....

ai, power please come back soon .... I've plan to watch 2 movies tonight - first step to cinema in 2005 - pls don't spoil my dream ...i'm watching Kung Fu Hussle and Meeting Fockers with my favourite kakis - Ringgit and Anti-Ringgit.

I curi ayam surfing sikit ... found this interesting info ( to me lah ), I heard about judgement day in Egpyt (during ancient time) - Habibi's stories. Now found this, rupa-rupanya christian also has this judgement day. Learning ...

AR - part II

Ha Ha ....still on this topic. This morning, after my early meeting, quickly showered, trying to rush to office - nak head straight to pantry mah - for AR forum. Well, this morning traffic extremely heavy (so kiew)...stucked in jam, radio show 'perfect match', the lady contestant LOVES AR, she also like me, every wednesday, no matter what - must stay in front of TV by 8 pm ..wah ha ha !! Her hubby cannot stand that ...

Shazmin, the DJ - I like her. She's funny, happy go lucky and talk sense...She also SUPER fan of reality TV shows. She commented that women usually addicted to reality shows such as AR, American or Msian Idiol, The Aprentice, Fear Factor etc etc ....Whereas most men don't like them..... I know my male friends enjoy this as much as I am :)

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

How addicted am I to AR ?

Lately, I always make sure I’m free and stay at home on Wednesday night, and breakfast at office pantry on Thursday morning, to talk to colleagues on ‘Amazing Race’….
Tonight, I need to clear the fresh vegetables in my refrigerator, thus decided to cook for dinner. Sister bought Bak Kut Teh, and I prepared the ala carte - lunch meat with egg, ginger taufu and asparagus belacan. While busy preparing the food, my eyes kept looking at the clock ( many many many times ). I kept rushing myself to speed up….I was driving myself crazy !!! When the show AR was aired at 8 pm, my mind was 100% focused. My eyes were looking straight on the TV, my ears were tuned to the show while my mouth was chewing the food ….. I didn’t know what my sister were talking about, no eye contact with her as well. She was talking to air alone. After this hectic night, I told my sister, there is no more cooking on Wednesday night. It has to be a relaxing night, so that I’m all set for AR ! Kris and Jon – I’m giving you all my full support, please win this game …… I even pull in another fan to support them …. She is none other than my dear DaiKahChek Anita :)

Global humanitarian

My company donated USD 2.56 million to the Tsunami's funds. The worldwide employees donated USD 800k, the remaining was top up by company fund. I'm not comparing who donates what or how much ..... I'm just glad all of us come together globally to do the right things. I hope the fund is managed and used properly. I personally put a curse on people who mis-use the various funds ..... sin sin sin !!!


Aiiii, I'm tired and SIEN liow. Been busy with many work requests lately ...everyone rushing for deadlines within this 3 weeks radar. I'm curious if my Mat Salleh customers also need to take long Chinese New Year holidays or what ?

Just completed a few peer review reports, I'm so blurred to continue working on my lovely databases ....prefer blogging :P

This is the stress moment for all managers in my company. We call it yearly focal, or rather performance review. There are many processes involved in my company, and this is extremely formal, to me, it is wasting way too much resources and time ...close to 2 months of managers' time. Mind you, this is repeated yearly .... I knew of some managers seeking professional therapy after going thru this focal thingy .... so kesian !
( then again, I can say this because I'm not a manager, not in their shoe :P ....)

So, what are the processes :
First, employee prepare and submit self assessement report.

Second, manager review, feedback with employee, then both OK, submit final version.

Third, manager represent the employee in the Role and Ranking session ( each employee must be assigned to a ranking group close to his/her job role and grade or seniority). The ranking can be across all regions. It is in this session, the managers will fight for a place for the employee, eg an employee from India is position 1, then emp from Egypt is position 2 based on their accomplishment, of course. This is a lengthy long long long ranking session.

Forth, ranking done, management decide on the focal budget allocation, then enter the information into the computerised system, the system will automatically calculate the increment, stock entitlement etc. Of course, at this point, the manager can debate and change the allocations, with strong justification to higher management. My company pre-set percentage of people to be grouped under 'not performing', 'perform', 'perform well', 'exceed expectation'. The stressed part should be putting people into the fixed 5% 'not performing' group....If a manager has 10 employees, then 1 out of 10 must be 'not performing', full stop. Every year, it is this time, employee moral issues increased.

Sixth, a formal letter will be generated from focal system, during the allocated weeks, manager must have 1:1 meeting with employee, deliver the letter to employee, discuss. If OK, sign and commit, yey. If not happy, employee can object and exercise Open Door Initiative (ODI), it is like a mini CSI - an investigation done by third party, to protect the interest of all, be neutral, then followed by interviews and mini court cases ....

Seventh, those who agree and commit, the hardcopy is submited to HR centralized database, kept forever ! Employee also get notified when it is deposited. To me, it is like 'safe-deposit' box ....

So, worth the effort to go though this lengthy processes ? I guess my company cares for employees, and willing to invest time and effort to focus on their career path, as well as recognizing their contribution or vice versa. It is a merit system. But human judgement is everywhere, don't know it is fair or not... I do recognize the good intention of this lengthy processes. Nevertheless, I wish I get a good focal for 2004. Better still, a promotion .... hahaha..BIG DREAM !!!

Return my badge ..........

I so geram with Mr. T today. When I left my ex-company's premise at 7 pm, my manager was in a meeting. So I had to forward my notebook, employee badge to someone, and I passed to Mr.T .....He told me last year he still have my employee badge. Apparently, security folks don't care if I returned or not .....stupid me .....I have tried many times to ask it back.....this Mr.T is pulling my leg, insisted that my justification is not good rejected again.

Mr. T, I won't bring up this topic again, but I will wait till the best time to return this favor back to you ....I know one day, that perfect timing will reach my door ...wait and see ....bloodyyyyyy :P brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Monday, January 10, 2005

"which part you don't understand ?"

This colleague replied my email like this "It’s free like I said before….NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. I don’t want to discuss this any longer… What don’t you understand about the word FREE?!!!! " ....after I read this , I smiled and thought of last week Amazing Race, the sentence that arrogant samseng Jonathan said to Victoria "which part of 'get hold of the cab' you don't understand?"

Hey, mat salleh sometimes talk garang hor .... oh well, in this case good for me, I get free things.

Sunday, January 09, 2005

Closer to you

I’m still a free thinker. I always thought if I do good, don’t hurt others, I’d be ok. My family does not talk about religion. I was brought up to think of how to make things better for myself, my family and to some extend - my friends. Very much ‘self-centered’. I do things for my own goods, for my own benefits or related to my circle of concern. I’ve read the book ‘Purpose Driven Life’, when I finished the chapter which talked about christianity and the missionary topics, I took a step back. To me, it is so task oriented ... I feel that it’s a huge commitment to accept Christ, to be a Christian, to allow god to be with me ….. I left it there …

My last visit to a church was December 2003 in Penang. The sermon was related to Missionary. This morning, I visited a church in USJ, co-incidence, it also talked about Missionary. Should I believe that god is trying to explain something to me ?

OK, I listened and comprehended. The group did the missionary in Tapah Orang Asli village, with their family, young kids and youths. It was a good sharing. I think missionary is a good task now, one should be proud of, to reach out and touch others …. this is like living life beyond our own boundaries …. Besides ME, there are many things I could do or contribute to make a difference, at the same time, uplift my inner spirit. I suppose one of the purpose of life - is to share and grow. Through reaching out, one can find a better meaning of life. I just feel it is a waste to come to this world, besides serving my duties as daughter, sister, a good law-abiding citizen, wife and mother ( not yet la ), then trapped in materialism – and felt empty, lost in life sometimes …… I’ve been granted lucky stars all along, let’s see what magic I could do next …..

Saturday, January 08, 2005

Having a baby

One of my favourite blog - make sense to me. Reading hers today, brought me back to years ago - the thought of having my own baby. Had this talk with greedy. Back then, we said, if we reached 35, and still single, we should go get a man and have our own baby. We talked about various ways to get us conceived. When we were young, getting pregnant seem easy. Now, at my age, I don't know how easy is it to be..I do have friends who have gone thru many procedures yet failed. Sometimes, it is ironic. People who wants baby, one whom I know for sure has all the requirements of being a good parent - dream so hard, yet to no avail. Then, there are those who simply wants to get rid of baby or abortion. I was told recently that hospital is legally doing abortion now. 'Legal' in the sense that one can go to the hospital and seek help to abort , it's not a publicly known thing. It's still done quietly, but do-able. The whole purpose is provide an avenue for people to abort it safely. So, back to what I wanted to blog .... hmm. Back then, I do have dream or urge to have baby. Today, this is no longer valid. Why? If I could be conceived, pregnant 9 months - I can handle that. After 9 mths, a life is brought to this world. And this life comes with HUGE BURDEN and RESPONSIBILITIES. I would have to prepare myself mentally, physically, financially, and other ly's. This is not an easy job, plus doing all by myself. The other main reason is that - it is so unfair or selfish to bring a life to this world, yet I cannot provide him / her with a complete family. Man and woman play different roles. No matter what century we are in, I still think a complete family is the right way of bringing up a healthy child. Benjamin secretly told me this as well, he wished he could have a daddy, and stay happily with mummy. My heart was sore .... I hate to say this - 'I pity him ...'

Okie, enuf on this topic ....end with an abstract from odissi's blog - Our lives are our movies and there is no understudy for us and there is no rewind, fast forward or pause button. There is only 'play'.

nice and make sense , rite ?

How does old folk think ?

Topic related to aging again …… My mum is seeing doctors at the government hospital for 1 year, on her high blood and high cholesterol problem. Lately, we brought her to a private hospital. She was put on complete new medication. We could see huge difference. In government hospital, whenever her blood pressure (bp) was high, those doctors ( may be practicing ) would increase the dosage, from 1 mg to 5 mg, to 10 mg. Then followed up 3 months later and see another doctor, then another cycle again. With this private doctor, we have a aim, a goal on what need to be achieved, without taxing mum’s body and health. This doctor wants to bring mum’s bp from 200/90 to her ideal bp of 130/80. Private doctor also told us that one of the medicine prescribed from government hospital is already withdrawn from UK 5 years ago, yet here, in Malaysia, we are still using them. I’m glad we could have the choice to seek second opinion privately, money does play a role here ….

Emily doesn’t trust Malaysian doctors. She kept saying the way they diagnose are too simple, not thorough. I told her that’s why the medical expenses are cheaper as compared to US or western countries. I suppose there is a trade off on everything ….

Ringgit, may be 40% tax in Australia is not too bad after all, if one can enjoy the benefit later … We pay slightly lower taxes in Malaysia, so ?? When I old nanti, I don’t have confidence going to government’s subsidized agencies for treatment wor …

Back to mum, 1 year on old medication, no improvement at all. Now with the new drugs, first day her bp dropped all the way from 200/90 to 120/83. Hit the ideal target. That’s the power of doing things right, taking the right medicines. But it also comes with high cost.

What agitate me was, she experienced a few side effects such as dizziness, feel like vomiting, stomach not feeling good, sweats for days. Yet when we called her and checked on her, she kept quiet. I think her mindset is not to trouble her kids, thus she rather not telling us the truth and not seeing doctor. My sisters said that is STUBBORN. What is in her mind? She rather suffers ? Should I be upset with her or should I be empathized with her ? one thing for sure, I was mad at her initially , bad daughter …..

Mah Lau shared his grandparents stories with me as well, their mentality think alike … Aiii, dealing with old folk – is an art , I guess …. One day, I’ll be in that shoe, may be then I’ll understand more. As of now, I just want my mum to be healthy and happy. She'll be 70 years old in October. 'Seventy', to me, that is a BIG number. Like it or not, as the number increase, the frequency to doctors is likely to increase, and she also has to add on more medicines ....well, part of the aging process. Let's flip the coin, now the more we should treasure her while she's with us....I promise to go home minimum once a week to have dinner with her :)

Thursday, January 06, 2005


Story goes like this ...moons ago, I started using Apple Itunes, and wanted to purchase songs online from Apple Music store. One of the way is via pre-paid card, and only people with US credit card and US billig address can buy the pre-paid card. So, I asked my sister to buy one for me. When she scratched the 16 digits pin codes, she told me the number 'T' could be '1' or could be '7' ...I was blurred, what was she talking about we actually debated on this, sort of had a mini arguement over the long distance phone calls (frustrated mah) ! After a few tries, she gave up. She said she'd returned and asked for refund. Tapi tak jadi, of course lah, the card was scratched, as good as used! Luckily the store assistance helped her to read the pin code, and I finally managed to redeem the value, bought my songs. Case closed...

Till a few nights ago, I took out the new pre-paid card she bought for me. I scratched, then only realized what had happened to her. See, the pin codes were well printed. Eg XX1GTV7U , no way we can read it wrong. I realized my sister is having 'old sighted' or lou fah ( dunno what it is in English). Luckily, brought her to eye doctor for checkup and bought new spectacle.

Reflected back to the time where she and myself both talking on the phone, trying to figure out the numbers, gosh ....had a good laugh.

Then, my mind started wandering, gee ...I'm not that far to that stage leh ...kinda scary. I don't feel old now, I'm feeling young, like 20's ...hahaha. Don't know how it was like when lou fah reach me ..... errrr

So, the thought now is - I should go try to do whatever I want to do, while I can still afford to do so .....last year, my main focus was hiked Mount Kota Kinabalu. I'm afraid I couldn't hiked to the summit when I'm old. Hey, mind you, I'm not an outdoor person, I hate mosquitos, leeches, sun, scars. Somehow the strong desire just came to me, because I wanted to taste, to experience how is it like to stand on top of the summit, overseeing the mini world ....boy , magnificent. To me, one has to go thru the journey to experience. It is different.

Now, what should I do ....been thinking of diving. Then an email invitation came from a hap sap loh, kiew yeah , co-incidence ..diving trip is offered. Hmmm, may be this is another sync for me to go out to sea, try discover the underworld. ( of course, I'll make sure Tsunami is stable first )

Anyway, I hope to put some effort on maintaining my health , so that I can do more things even when I'm aging ....haha

Tuesday, January 04, 2005


Bravo ....Bahija is very happy now. Completed the assessment report, submitted liow ...YEY !
Now, I'm allowed to blog ... hahaha , will do so when I'm free nanti !

Sunday, January 02, 2005

Sunday Jan 2

Sunday morning, woke up with conjunctivitis, sky's gloomy ( yesterday also ), read newspaper – sad news on Tsunami’s affected areas, now the survivors have to get thru the various deceases. I suppose that is why the sky is showing his/her gloomy mood, so depressing...


Anyway, some positive things cheered me up …..I had a quiet relaxing Sunday, and guess what – my last one was back in Dec 5, the day I started my blog …aiyuh yuh, my life is a bit out of control leh, need to prioritize well, and gain more relaxing weekends !


Yesterday at KLIA, saw the Mido watch marketing signboard. This morning, at Federal Highway, saw Mido signboard again. Mido is the name of my Egyptian tour guide. It is also the brand name of a watch (expensive one leh). Never heard of this name ever before until Ringgit mentioned to me after the Egypt trip. Somehow, when I saw Mido signs today and yesterday, I felt like it is asking me to cheer up, it actually put a smile on my face :)..Heehee. I kept seeing Mido signs in new locations. I told Ringgit, if there is a contest locating the Mido marketing signboards, I can be the winner ! I remembered all the locations, and I still discover new one in new locations ...hahaha

I also called him Habibi. He finally returned a sms to me on New Year Eve. I was driving and thought I had a support escalation call...see see, it's from Habibi. Here's the sms message, it's dedicated to 4 of us who went to Egypt.

"It is a week end, a month end, and a year end !!! Hope it is not the END._. HAPPY NEW YEAR.*2005*. mido wish you all wild wishes"

Here is the Mido signboard. Decided not to buy one, I still prefer the sync, show up on me once a while and put a smile on my face :), surprise a bit ..

Posted by Hello


My previous post talked about using 'streamyx’ as a topic to connect with my neighbour ( the right hand side )….. Today, I tried .....gee, it worked !! We also talked about Tsunami, they just came back from vacation in Langkawi and Penang…they felt the shocked in Penang hotel, rushed all the way to ground floor. Well, we are so lucky, should be thankful …


Despite not feeling well, I fulfilled my promise and met with Janice and her boyfriend, WJ. I FFK meeting WJ 2 yrs ago ( Dec, 2003), today I’m pleased to meet him ( finally ). Glad to share their joy that both of them received their parent’s blessing yesterday, and they’ll be a happy bride and gloom soon. There is no Mr or Miss Perfect in this world, I think it is fate which makes this long distance relationship works. Janice, I truly wish you happiness, both of you should give and take, compromise and grow the relationship, don’t ‘kutuk’ too much, instead appreciate more, accept each other’s for good or for bad (otherwise you wouldn’t have proceeded to this stage, right ?) … You’ve got a positive man, he’s so optimistic, he’s the one who can cheer you up during your gloomy moment ! Look is just an external look, most important – he cares for you, touch your heart …..Remembered your promise to me - first thing to do in Taiwan - to setup internet connection and a webcam in your home PC.


Gosh, I owed my bosses my 2004 self assessment and accomplishment report, due date was Dec 31, 2004. I procrastinated this task for weeks, hate to do this. Now, lagi teruk, passed due date also tak kisah ….getting serious ni…. Hang on, let’s talk to Bahija

Me : Hey, you hate to write your own assessment kah ?

Bahija : YES YES YES

Me : you mental sikit lah

Bahija : why is that so ? it’s memang tedious to write the report, not fun at all, kena ‘puji’ what I did ….hard sell, tak suka

Me : Eh, if you contributed well, you should be proud to list down your accomplishments lah, take credits for the hard works, projects delivered promptly, sleepless nights you had put in. I tak faham why is it so difficult to briefly prepare the report …and this also macam ‘stress’ to you …. bodoh !

Bahija : hmmmmmm

Me : treat it like writing blog, this time it is listing the work accomplishment, improvements and development, and audience are the bosses ..apa la susah ?

Bahija : You are absolutely correcto, I shall makan all my ubat now, go zzzzzz , besok buat my report and hantar , and minta maaf for late submission ( excuse – cuti last week eh ) !!

Hee hee... tata !

Saturday, January 01, 2005


I may have done something extremely embrassed this morning. But but but , it took me great courage to post a question. I guess I should be pleased I did it ( without alcohol influence leh, tapi caffeine ada sikit ) . Though the truth is sad, but it is always good to know what is happening, and move forward at the right direction. After all, this is the first day of 2005...too early to dream ! I sincerely apologize for causing any uncomfortable situation ... Promise, things will be back to normal pretty soon :)

Let me hibernate now ....

Bye Emily !

Time's up, Emily's 2 weeks vacation come to an end. So sad to send her off ... especially mum.

We spent many quality times together, it was a super busy 2 weeks.
Hope she enjoyed those moments, and we shall see you again this year :)