Wednesday, September 27, 2006

babies mth ....

This month, I've have a few friends who have promoted to parents or soon to be ... Pakman was a surprise to me , didn't know and suddenly received SMS that he added 1 more family member. Kim Possible is expecting hers , any time now :) HT and JT already welcomed their second baby boy ....remember the little Elmo I adore ( hope he still remember me )

Here is his latest photo - so so leng chai - wanted to pinch him. Little Elmo macam takut carrying his little baby brother eh :P

a positive news ....

Just a while ago, Sanguine told me a great news .... I'm so so so happy for her. As I get to know her , as we spend time together I get to know her heart desire - it's truly a joy to hear the positive news. Wish she get the chance to step on the soil pretty soon ....... geee, that means I am losing another buddy again , oh well - that's life

Monday, September 25, 2006

fasting ...

The muslim community started their Ramadhan , fasting for 1 month. I believe most religion practise some sort of fasting. It's not an easy task.. The muslim folks have the dicipline to fast for 1 month, fasting close to 12 hours a day ( well, sun rise and set ) . This year, I did try to fast and prayed for my country during the month of August. Mine come with flexibility , eg skip one meal or skip one food or drinks that I couldn't live with... save the meal money and donate them Aiii, tat also Bahija couldn't last for 1 mth la ....hahaha. So, fasting in my dictionary - need strong desire, dicipline and not easy at all :)

Friday, September 22, 2006

My shocking friday morning ....

It happened like this .....
  1. At 9:35 am, on the way to work , slowed down and took an exit ...
  2. Suddenly felt car 'floating' , lost control - swayed left and right ( no 'bang' sound leh )
  3. Bahija calmly tried to turn the wheel - to stay straight
  4. Timing was so Great - it was red light. So I stopped, put on hand break, walked out from car to see what happened. The 'thing' which hit me from the back and side - was a huge truck - 12 wheelers fully covered truck ( seem like it came from Port Klang )
  5. Bahija couldn't see the driver, the truck was huge, he was sitting high up - couldn't see him. Knocked on the door - he didn't reply ...
  6. Witnesses around me - showed hand sign languages - asked me to note down the truck information
  7. Bahija walked back to the car, written down the licence plate no , and the 1-800 adu number
  8. When light turned green, I followed him at the back , wasn't sure what to do , to follow him, or to give up ...
  9. After the right turn, suddenly saw a traffic police just finished summoned one motorcylist. ( To me, it was like God sent me an angel - hehe )
  10. Bahija quickly parked her car by the road side, reported to the traffic officer
  11. Traffic officer quickly jumped onto his bike, turned back and re-confirmed the license plate no , and zzzzooommm - he went
  12. Bahija then locked and waited inside her car while waiting for the traffic policeman. During that quiet moment, Bahija baru in shocked. Heart beat pumping fast, hand shaking, gementar feeling. I calmed down and had a prayer - Thank God that I was safe, no one was hurt.
  13. After 15 mins, traffic police came back, passed me a small piece of paper with the driver's details, including the company name and address. He asked me to go make a police report - very well mannered - responsible policeman - TQ Kapl Kamar :)
  14. At 5:30 pm, I made the report. Quite impressed with the police officers and the quick process. Tak ada result yet - have to wait for the other party to report within 24 hrs

Today, I found out the impact of being 'knocked softly' by a huge truck running at 20 km/hr wasn't a real 'bang' hit , my little car already out of control , like a boat floating in wavy sea. I truly Give Thanks for the protection. If there were a wall or motorcyclist or car or someone next to me, I would have hit the object or got myself killed, thing just happened in sub-seconds and i wasn't in control, very dangerous. I suspected the driver could be using handphone or day dreaming or sleepy or something ... a small little move could have brought injuries to others. Like my case, I was obediant, driving on my lane, slowing down as I aproached exit and traffic lights junction , suddenly 'monster' came from back - how la to predict .....isn't life so fragile ?

I went to make a report, in my mind - I wanted the guy to realize his mistake and not to repeat this careless mistake. However, the 'siasat' session with the sarjan - I just felt that the reasonable doubt wasn't on my side....Msia traffic rules in favor of hitting from back, plus I felt a little bit of prejudice on lady driver ( my own judgment, I dun think I'm in those typical 'dumb lady driver club' ) - I could sensed that Sarjan thought I was on the middle lane and suddenly drove to right lane, then kena hit by the truck which was coming straight on the right lane :( , plus Sarjan said I didn't have witnesses - alamak ...

I was perfectly 100% on my lane - didn't do wrong .... May the truth speaks for itself. I'm truly blessed for being able to return home safely lah :) - tu yang most important .......

Thursday, September 21, 2006

something i bought and dunno why i did it .....

One super fine day , for some weird reason, out of nowhere, Bahija walked into a store kat Low Yat - suddenly bought this ..... My heart so sore from the minute I charged it to my credit card. It's a pda phone.... I guess I'm still too loyal to my butterly blue screen nokia phone ( i still like tis phone very much). My experience as a PDA user is so so nia. This baby hang ofte, in times where i need to make calls, it hang ....terrrrr. Weekly need a reboot ( the screen showing IPL - haha, in my MF world , it means Initial Program Load). The speed dial '1' as voicemail - never worked since the day I bought it. I didn't get to retrieve my voice massages for mths. 2 weeks ago - it finally KONG, totally died. Sent it to repair center I.C.U - just got a call that it has recovered, changed a new motherboard - aiyuh. This Saturday - i will go pick it up - let's see how it will behave then , please please please .... funny - i need to 'encourage' myself to like this cutie ....

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Filial Duty

An article on Filial Duty --- being Bahija , I'm a strong supporter on this topic :) ...very simple rule, my parents sacrified a lot for me , for my siblings, and they love us so much. When we were young, my mom selalu makan ubi keledek for lunch, makan white porridge with soy sauce nia. I've lost one, if I don't bother to spend time , shower love to my mom, I'll be a damm fool.

My youngest sis - lalalililatappong works in a publishing company, she always get free movie tickets. Bahija and some of her friends got to enjoy the freebies :) . One of the free movie was 'Click' - the morale of the story is simple - priorities in life , and opportunity costs which come with them , i suppose ...

Speaking of movies - I'm quite dissappointed, there are no good movies this year, even Dec also blank nia - aiyuh, what happen ???

such a low pay ....

Today's star - this police officer ( lans korporal ) , 34 yrs old, a degree holder in HR Development...been servicing in the police workforce for 10 yrs and his salary ONLY RM 1,050 nia.... aiyuh, down below the poverty line. Geee, now we wonder why they have to cari makan via other ways eh. Hope those who deserve the salary increment shall get one soon ...

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

special visit .....

Tonight my cell leader visited me at my house....they posted a question to me, asked me to 'lead' the special kid ministry during Sunday morning at Children's church - WOW. This is something new ! scary-nya. To be a helper - i suppose Bahija is ok be the 'leader' - that is such a huge role for me at this moment ....don't think I can handle that. My mind a bit 'luan' after they left :)

a) went online prepared for meeting, then immediately a far far away old friend whom i have not chatted for long time, popped up and chatted with me ....he encouraged me to take the challenge, even agreed to give me ideas and willing to meet with me frequently ( virtually ) to work this out ....talking about 'kiew' - this happened at the right time eh !

b) many moons ago , Bahija indeed had the thought of setting up a special kid care center ...but it was more on 'NATO' No Action Talk Only kind of thingy, have 'bin-ed' that idea for long time ..... now this request come , it is a real one wor - i kelam-kabut liow ... aiiiii

Landed in Tmn R ....

About 34 yrs ago, my parent had 2 choices, either bought a house in Bangsar or Tmn R. They decided Tmn R for 3 reasons ( how i wished they chose Bangsar eh ) ..... the reasons were :
1. Nearby a bus stop - public transportation easier ( back then , cars tak laku yet )
2. Primary and secondary school were nearby too - easier for kids to walk to schools
3. There was a special kid school run by NGO in Tmn R

When Teddy Bear was kicked out by the Sentul primary school's headmaster, mum had no choice to put him in Tmn R Special Kid school. Which was a good decision. Teddy Bear learned a lot of things, he could speak a few Bahasa Msia words or sentences, he knew what's mata, telinga, kaki, tangan, mulut, cikgu, mandi etc etc .... the power of education - works just great on mentally retarded kids. The school was run by a great woman, we called her Ms Tan. She's an angel to the kids. She truly gloried God - a person who practised fruit of spirit well. The kids loved & respected her, she scarificed a lot for the school & society for her NGO works.

Back then, when Teddy Bear sicked and ponteng school, his classmates would came knocked on our house & checked on him leh, so 'kam dong eh'. They had their own special world with their own body languages & laughs. I was very young then, I remembered they called each other by names, so sweet. Teddy Bear was so much happier then...Aiiii, the regulation stated that special kids over 18 yrs old had to leave the school and enrolled in Wisma H kat Brickfields. It was bad timing then, those teachers there weren't that caring, or lack of patience. Teddy Bear came back home with bruises on hand or legs, sometimes with bleeding mouth. We also heard other parents filed similar complaints. Soon or later, mum decided not to send him to Wisma H. That concluded his fun time at school .... from the age of 19 yrs old until now 40 yrs old. He stays at home all the times ( mum and dad had to work hard to provide for the family, and we the siblings were all busy growing up with our own world ) , so Teddy Bear just sit at home 24 hours do nothing - it's boring and his brain stopped working, now he forgot the Bahasa Malaysia words too ....

One thing I've always question myself ? Am I doing anything for him ? have I done enough ? No doubt he's mentally retarded, but he's alive, a human with feeling. He understands 'sad' , 'happy' .... my exposure with other special kids - I find that Teddy Bear is quite 'kuay' and adorable.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

early dream

Last night while sleeping , my conscious mind wandering - this year christmas - how and where and what ...... got to go to Dragon's hse, also my own ...then how ? conflict bla bla bla

This morning, when I came to office. I quickly checked the calender - so happy. Christmas day is on Monday. Perfect for me. Sunday - i shall have my own turkey dinner at my house. Then Monday - i can attend Dragon's christmas party :) - didn't realized my presence last year was so meaningful to Dragon ...this time , i don't have to ask who's going, who's not - I'll just be there. Also will prepare gifts for her family members too ....

Monday, September 11, 2006

nowhere to turn to .....

This article 'Nowhere to turn to' by Chong Sheau Ching, published on star sept 11....some of the stories mentioned related to the experiences I have with Teddy Bear.... sometimes betul-betul geram one ...aiii , I asked income tax officer back in 1997 - told them that the Law Act need to be amended - to give tax break for the care taker of the unwell dependant .....They acknowledged this issue for years , yet never bother to do anything, and guess what - they asked me to go adopt Teddy Bear as my child - then I'm his 'mum' and then can claim handicapped relief and allowances , nonsense !

YAH !! Wah!! Aaaah !!! Loud screams rang eerily through the neighbourhood. It was past midnight. I went up to the window to see what was going on. A few other neighbours were also standing by their window sills. Another loud scream came from the house opposite mine.

It was her. She's a mentally ill young woman. Over the years, i have see her throwing dishes into her neighbour's compound, hurling her brother's toys onto the street and screaming at passers-by. An ambulance was rushed in once because she had cut herself. The family's maid jumped over the fence on several occasions, screaming for help.

Once, she walked into my house and tried to push me to join a multi-level marketing scheme. when I politely refused, she was so angry that I thought she would hit me.

I can avoid her screams and throws things. But not her family. They often look tired and harassed. When I walk past and say 'hi', they would lower their heads and pretend not to see me. In a society filled with prejudice against people with chronic illnesses, I can understand how they feel - embarassed and ashamed - about the havoc the young woman causes in the neighbourhood.

In contrast, my Down Syndrome brother is much easier to take care of. He occupies himself with his drawing and piano-playing. He rarely gets angry. If he does, he lets out a few loud mumbles. He's only difficult to handle when he can't walk due to swollen legs caused by his weak heart. Two people are needed to lift and carry him. We are all families with dependants who need constant medical care. Expenses are high because our dependants do not have health insurance, or rather, no health insurance company will insure them. Taking them to government hospitals is not an option when one has to work and have no time to queue for hours. Once, my brother accidentally drank some chemical. The emergency unit in the hospital took a blood test and asked us to wait for the result next day. He was suffering but he couldn't tell us what was bothering him.

The next morning, the hospital told my family that his blood test was lost so a new test had to be done. Another time, the dental department didn't want to take care of his toothache because of his heart condition. That left us no other choice but to take him to private hospitals. My brother who can't talk also needs rehabilitation. so that he will know how to communicate his suffering when his health deteriorates. There is no Down Syndrome centre for people over 40. I have to pay for a private practioner and there is no insurance scheme. And no tax-break either. i am his sister. My 75-year-old parents can get a tax break but they can't take care of him.

When I read about how rich businessmen avoid paying taxes and top-notch company directors driving luxury cars bought under company expenses, I find myself asking, "how does this happen?' The rich get the tax breaks but not all those who need it!' A friend once said to me, "life is never fair. What are you complaining about? You have more than many people!"

I know. So does every middle-class family who have chronically unwell dependants. I know of families who have sold their houses, cars, jewellery to treat illness. Often, the house is their only asset.
They don't sell it because they don't want to uproot the elderly parents. Every month, they live hand-to-mouth.

One family has two adults children with a degenerateive nerve disease. The elderly parents' savings have been drained, over the past 10 years, by medical expenses. The only source of income is the parents' odd jobs. They can't afford to send the siblings for the operations and rehabilitation they need.

As a result, their condition has deteriotated over the last few years. It is sad to see them go blind, and their speech slurring with each passing year. They can't get any assistance because they are not disabled. If they do not get the required medical help, in a few years they will depend on ageing mother to feed, bathe and change them. Their brother blames them for the hard life their parents go through. He has a good job but feels that he has enough of helping his siblings. He needs money for his own young family. There is no tax break to motivate him to help. Can we really blame him for being so heartless ?

Some essential drugs have gone up 300% in price lately. Who is going to take care of them when their parents pass away ? They are not the only ones who need help, there are also others, trapped in helpless cycle of illness. And there is no end in sight. A group of us has been trying to raise funds for them. Sometimes we feel discouraged but remind ourselves of what Mother Teresa once said 'We ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean. But the ocean would be less because of that missing drop' ........

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

motivator .....

Deboss lost 12 kg in 2 mths ....this was a great achievement. I saw his Sipadan video - he looks so good , and so light. He's so happy now ....who wouldn't eh. I hope Sanguine and I have the dicipline to embark on our exercise program soon .... Deboss is my inspirator :) hehehe

sleepless nite

Aiiiiii, Bahija got to be EXTRA careful , have to avoid caffeine after 6 pm :( , so torturing's 4:35 am , and I'm still awake , aiyuh. Have an early meeting with my manager - geee - wonder how am I goin to have a fresh discussion with him .... Deboss suggested I drink some alcoholic drinks...viola - i took vodka ribena without lime , now kepala pusing, hope i can have 3 hrs of good sleep lah - geeeee - this wed will be a horrible day for me

a sweet visit to I-kei

I-Kei relocated to a new building , tonight my fellow buddies gave me a tour , indeed - it was so great to see the familiar things , and the nice 'ais teh tarik' caused me sleepless night , at 3 am now - I finally have time to blog - aiiiii ..... At the new building, there is a perfect 'F.r.i.e.n.d.s' corner , but missing 2 players liow , hmmm, not sure if I would rejoin .... lots of people asking me why am i still with In-kei - what's so great about doing support work .... I guess I treasured the flexibility and a reasonable boss :)

my old friend

I met SY when I was standard 4 , counting the years, we've known each other for 24 yrs ..... we were the girl scout group leaders, had many wonderful camping nights together. After graduated from high school, i went overseas , and she took some diploma classes locally. She's a very helpful, friendly person, always comes with smiley faces. Unfortunately, a year ago, she got a weird problem, some virus infection that destroyed her bones. Some part of her chest bones were missing now .... and worst case, the doctors were not sure of the root cause , couldn't diagnozed well, and she has to hop from one doctor to the others ....thus a lot of guessing , and this truly put her into frustration, and lots of $$$ involved....from a cheerful young lady, now she turns into an old lady who walk slowly, speak slowly , no strength , and suffer chest pain all the times, also breathing problems sometimes. She has no mood to SMS, to be on the phone or to meet with friends ....she's just too weak, too moodless to do anything. I felt sad for her , visited her - Bahija didn't know what to do , what to say , aiiiii - wish that she could recover lah