no title

Started today happy ....then went into emotional imbalance situation - something wrong. Firstly, haze problem is getting so serious - no more fresh air - my cool company made a special effort from HQ, gave each of the employee 5 masks yesterday, for us to bring back and share with family. When we walked to food court, we had to wear the mask, the air is so so so smelly, smoky, dirty - horrible. Secondly, I'm trapped into this 'Langkawi' curse again. A very sweet friend of mine, went all out to help me secure hotel booking (during the peak season) - but at the end - i rejected her booking. I was so sad making that decision. I knew I upset her in a way, I didn't know what to say to her right now ( let me zzzz, refresh my mind then think harder) .... back to the curse ...everytime when I wanted to go to this place, something drastic happened. Like today, even though I managed to get the 5 star hotel rooms as per my preferred dates - good price (this hotel is fully booked - travel agents and internet bookings no way can get thru liow), YET, when I was at the airline website - my hand shaked, my heart beat increased - I had 2 bad experiences whenever I wanted to go Langkawi (SARS, Tsunami) .....today, my brain just poped out this Q 'Are you sure ? what if Haze problem getting more serious ? another disaster leh' - aiiii , dunno what / how to say this , I just felt I'm no good in planning trip , in this area , too last minutes, a bit upset with something ....and now , i am emotionally sad liow , dissappointed , tired , hopeless ...... aiiiii - I need a good rest now - bye