Am I Jealous ?

Ringgit said woman is easily jealous of another woman, is this true ?
I had dinner with greedy and ringgit. May be I was too tired, my mind just wandering and start thinking nonsense. The conversation of the night was on work related topic and being a manager, how to manage different kind of people etc…. Greedy seems to enjoy her leadership and management role. She started to get a feel of it and playing the management games ….

So then, what does this has to do with me ? hmmm….well, I didn’t feel good at the end of the conversation wor. Ringgit said I jealous of Greedy .... I kept thinking was it true ? should I ? Am I ?? Why ?

The answer is obviously NOT. I’m grateful that I left my previous company, so that I can walk slowly now, take time to enjoy the flowers, the greens along the road …..take time to improve my soul and be with my family more often…Greedy and myself are aiming at different priorities, so there is no common ground to compare and be jealous about! Likewise, I am proud of my achievement, I felt contented and grateful for what I have ….and still learning to be a better person, searching for my purpose of life !

So, why am I sad then ? after thinking and analyzed for 1 day, I guess I am lost in the working life, the sense of achievement and sense of belonging are not as great as I want or should be …… Ideally I have my dream job now, a job that is extremely stable for me, from 8 – 5:30, and on call support after working hours. My work assignments are scheduled, well planned, even ad-hoc tasks – I can handle them easily ….in short – this job is less stress, as compared to my previous one. When I first joined this company 2.5 years ago, I had a hard time adjusting, no more traveling to external customer sites. I only sit still in office and work alone remotely. During my working hours, I have no team mate to discuss, to talk to, to gossip and no Bonnie to handle…Now, you know how I gradually turn myself into ‘peace of mind’ kind of person :).

I kept telling people I am so lucky for having this job. But good thing usually doesn’t last long ….to continue staying and excel in my current company, I need to venture to other ‘new area’ …this ‘new area’ is the key problem to my depression, my sadness for many times …..it is like in dilemma, lost, cannot see the next path, don’t know the next steps to go / to do / to plan. There are opportunities which arrive on my door step, but I rejected them because I am reluctant to relocate to Penang. I guess I could find an easy solution if I relocate …but would I be happy ?

Bahija, you need to let go those decisions that you’ve firmly made, those are history, never look back and regret …. Life is moving forward, so continue to move forward, open the mind, try to accept changes, have faith and confidence in yourself that you are still valuable, and the future is or will be better !
Last but not least, remember that job is just a job. Don’t get too caught up with ‘job’ and forget about other more important priorities …..it’s not worth the time, effort to devote whole life just on job, career and ways to earn money … enjoy a simple and hopefully a meaningful life !